Hunter Boots and Hobb’s High heels

My fence man is putting up a Ted back yard fence. I just don’t want to chase Ted from the bottom woods before I have my morning Nespresso. So I thought a nice little fence was in order. Then and only after I’ve had my morning Nespresso, we can go walk the meadows and the woods. Fair enough I say.

My neighbour Bob came over to say hello and welcome me to country life. He then proceeded to tell me to make sure I build a no climb fence. Two bear cubs broke his apple tree last year. It was a small tree and they were too heavy for the limbs.

Bears? I had planned on deer and never planting roses. Bear?!!

Oh yes, he continued, we saw two in your meadows a few years back playing about.

Bears???

Yes, bears, he said a little slower this time.  I swear now I have two people who think I don’t comprehend English.

Crumbs…Bears and my Ted? Not a good mix.   My plan is to walk the meadow with some sort of noise maker…bells? Two large cymbals? I already talk to myself. Maybe singing? Clapping my hands like mad! That should chase the deer off. Carry a pot of honey about my person and throw it at a bear? That should interest him more than me?

Then before I had a chance to  throughly think out my fight the bear off plan,  my other neighbour came over to say hello and offer any help I might need. I ask him about bears hoping that Bob was just having one on.

Oh yes, we have Bears, deers, Wild Cats….

Wild Cats? I ask thinking some one tabby cat’s run off.

But he goes on…coyote…I lost three dogs over the years.

What have I done? Well I don’t have a  brave farm dog. My Ted out on his own? I don’t know who would be more scared of that thought! Me or him!

So now I ask my fence guy  perhaps I should have a bear fence. He just stares at me and says, you want it ten foot high? Electric?  A ditch perhaps?

Crumbs no……

Ted we are not in England anymore…we are in the American Countryside where one is the menu.