My fence man is putting up a Ted back yard fence. I just don’t want to chase Ted from the bottom woods before I have my morning Nespresso. So I thought a nice little fence was in order. Then and only after I’ve had my morning Nespresso, we can go walk the meadows and the woods. Fair enough I say.
My neighbour Bob came over to say hello and welcome me to country life. He then proceeded to tell me to make sure I build a no climb fence. Two bear cubs broke his apple tree last year. It was a small tree and they were too heavy for the limbs.
Bears? I had planned on deer and never planting roses. Bear?!!
Oh yes, he continued, we saw two in your meadows a few years back playing about.
Yes, bears, he said a little slower this time. I swear now I have two people who think I don’t comprehend English.
Crumbs…Bears and my Ted? Not a good mix. My plan is to walk the meadow with some sort of noise maker…bells? Two large cymbals? I already talk to myself. Maybe singing? Clapping my hands like mad! That should chase the deer off. Carry a pot of honey about my person and throw it at a bear? That should interest him more than me?
Then before I had a chance to throughly think out my fight the bear off plan, my other neighbour came over to say hello and offer any help I might need. I ask him about bears hoping that Bob was just having one on.
Oh yes, we have Bears, deers, Wild Cats….
Wild Cats? I ask thinking some one tabby cat’s run off.
But he goes on…coyote…I lost three dogs over the years.
What have I done? Well I don’t have a brave farm dog. My Ted out on his own? I don’t know who would be more scared of that thought! Me or him!
So now I ask my fence guy perhaps I should have a bear fence. He just stares at me and says, you want it ten foot high? Electric? A ditch perhaps?
Ted we are not in England anymore…we are in the American Countryside where one is the menu.